You Can Only Choose One: Strength of Comfort Food

For me comfort food is not just a slice of pie, its half a pie. Its not cinnamon on black coffee with stevia drops; its a rich, creamy white mocha with TONS of whipped cream.  These past few days have been difficult for me to keep to my diet. Last time I did this diet I started to like salad without dressing. This time around my taste buds are like "spit this bitter crap out!" I have been diligent in keeping my eyes on the prize. I did have one "off" day so far, but after 10 days I am down 5 pounds (5 of those days were stalling, grrrr @ plateaus).

My prize is strength, flexibility, a body temple I can curl up in at night and not feel my stomach strangling my organs if I decide to lay on my back. When I picked up a 25 pound of sugar the other day (to make cotton candy for my mother's business,NOT TO EAT), I realized I was carrying this much around me all the time. I remember being 145 and feeling soooo light and strong and I had energy for days! Now, I am not going to live in LaLa Land in my head. I know I was 5 years younger then and without children.

 However I know that strength is inside me, always holding these 25 pounds. My heels have finally begun to break their promise  to be true. They crack, hurt, as I walk on my floating floor above a cement slab. (Someone said get a heel stick which I am totally going to do!) I am routinely picking up and carrying very heavy children to get them to stop what they are doing, redirect their waste orifices or put them to sleep. The stress of it all lends me to head toward the cupboard or fridge aiming for a snack, some sugary thing to help numb my hunger for strength.

 Do I have to choose? I know I LOVE food and I am always sabotaging myself because I LOVE to cook. I am always the person who chooses something in the middle. It can't be black or white! But right now that is where I am at. I am in a black or white zone, hovering around the middle of the road, feeling comfortable but not feeling successful. I will always feel like I didn't make it if I don't keep trying. I will keep logging in and I won't give up.

This journey isn't a hill that goes up and curves back down in the middle. I really like those kind of hills! No, it goes up sharper after the midway point. It is demanding, treacherous, but rewarding. I thought when I started this diet that I had all the strength I needed to finish, but now I realize I only had the strength to start. It will take more and more of that to keep going for the results I desire. For now I choose strength. When I know I am strong enough to only have one slice of pie or get a small nonfat latte I will be back to those comfort foods.
One promise I already made to myself: candy is for kids, not adults. That was one of my big triggers and I am glad I can finally say I will no longer be eating candy and I don't need to. I hope others out there find the strength they need to do this! We can find comfort in our strength as richly and rewarding as that sugary snack or starchy bowl of pasta. 

Starting maintenance phase of ASAP, avoiding sugar and starch

I am on my third day of maintenance now and my weight has been across the board. On my final day of ASAP, my weight was 153. On my first day of maintenance, it was 155 (I had tuna casserole for dinner and pumpkin pie... BIG NO NOs..) My energy level plummeted after I ate and I just wanted to curl up and go to bed at like 7pm! I woke up that day at 9am, so there was no reason for it other than my  body shutting down by having to process all that sugar.

Yesterday I woke up with the scale reading 156 after breakfast (I usually weigh first thing in the morning since it gives me the most optimistic results).

So yesterday I only had coffee for breakfast, 2 apples and beyond tangy tangerine for lunch, and a small square of casserole for dinner with the rest of my supplements. Today I weighed in at 153!... So I am a little confused what my results have been.I think its safe to say 153-155, which would  be 10-12 pounds off in 3 weeks!

I am thinking I haven't been drinking enough water on my final days of ASAP so my  body started to store it. Yesterday I drank plenty and this morning I was pleased with my weigh in.

I have been checking measurements too and everyday they have been the same except my waist after I  had that casserole on my first day was a .5" bigger until it all got digested.

We got the SlenderFX Chocolate shake in the mail a few days ago so I will start taking that instead of lunch. This is how I like to make it:

1 cup almond milk
2 scoops mix
1.5 cup ice
1 Tablespoon of peanut butter
 BLEND until smooth

I think I will opt out of the peanut butter if I am gaining too fast. And perhaps use water instead of almond milk. Either way I like to give it volume by blending it. And since I have those sweet drops maybe I'll add some english toffee to it. That flavor is my new fav.