Down 10 pounds, Day 14 - Cheat snacks, not cheat DAYS

Results are still coming in!

So I have been researching a lot --- still -- everyday. haha And my conclusions are still shifting about the accuracy of this diet.

On My fitness Pal I am logging EVERYTHING and when I exercise, my daily goal of "700 calories" shifts up to "700 calories + 200 calories of exercise = you can eat 900 calories"

So I am eating more like 900, sometimes 1000 depending on my exercise expenditures.

Some of my motivation for weight loss is that I can do something physically demanding (breakdancing) at the end of this journey. There was a study posted in a VLCD forum on MFP about how loss of lean muscle WILL NOT happen unless your body is already under 10% body fat. However, there will be a slowed metabolism (starvation mode) that slows results if you eat under 1k cals a day, which I am.

One poster on a rather lengthy and heated discussion about 800 cal diet questioned why anorexics can still lose weight on a low calorie diet. If starvation mode does exist then they should not be losing weight. My apple day is evidence of the oppositional stance.

If you really do eat nothing for a day, or very very little (like 5-6 apples), then you will lose water, muscle, everything. I don't know if could be considered a plateau breaker. I did have some energy to move around quite a bit in the afternoon but when I realized I wasn't getting a steak for dinner I suddenly found myself lethargic

Another article stated that no matter what diet you choose (low carb, low fat, etc.) has no bearing on weight loss. Only caloric deficits create a loss. On ASAP I average 700 cals - 200 for my rare breastfeeding session which probably is more like 50 calories but I am overestimating, so that's 500 down. With a TDEE of 2361calories that means I am burning away 1800 of mommy excess fat or YES 1/2 day! So where is the magic in that??? ASAP isn't burning my fat, I AM.

That being said I took this as evidence to snack on some 100 calorie popcorn and portioned out oreos... *sulk* I still stayed under my 700 cal (900 cal) goal on MFP! And in the morning... I found I had finally lost that pound I was teetering on the day before.


So that TDEE is already factoring my exercise which MFP does also, so I have to reconfigure my eating habits now. 2361 - 1k cals = 1.3 k or about about 1/3# a day lost, which is what I am having now (after my 3 days post-plateau).

So if I have a caloric deficit of 1k cals a day I will lose a pound in about 3 days, thats about 2.5 a week or 10# a month. That would mean by Hoopcamp I will be 12.5 smaller, or 148.5 by then. And for halloween I'd be 139! And then thanksgiving I'd be 129! Then I can go back up to 1800 cals.

I know a part of the reason why the diet is as strict and healthy as it is is because it flushes out the toxins in your fat. This has to happen because part of the reason we store fat is to store the toxins. If I kept eating 900 cals of oreos I would lose but my toxic build would eventually hinder my results. Not to mention the bloating would make my inches go up.

So now I am at 155 and I feel great! I do still have a belly that I want smaller though. So I will stick with it since I might as well see! I deserve it! I think I'll retrain my mind to take it one week at a time. So now I am finished with week 2 and its on to the last and final week. Then... it will be week 4, the last and final week, hahaha. I will give myself little cheats because if I don't reward myself sooner than once in a month in a half then I will go insane. I need weekly or biweekly cheats, a bag of 100 cal popcorn, a skinny 120 cal latte. If my results halt for days at a time I will know why. I will keep my sodium levels lower since I think my big plateau before was that I was eating about 3 oz of beef jerky a day! I needed a big water flush. I do need to be drinking more water.

Wow this post is all over the place! In conclusion, yes - I will stick with 700 cal diet, yes - I will be AVOIDING oil, sugar, milk, breads - no, I will not be sticking to the strict ASAP diet as I will allow myself 2 bad snacks a week. This is a lifestyle I can stick with for a longer period than 6 weeks then introduce the milk, breads but not oils. Then introduce oils after I reach my goal of 140! I'm guessing just in time for turkey and gravy, mmm'm.

You Can Only Choose One: Strength of Comfort Food

For me comfort food is not just a slice of pie, its half a pie. Its not cinnamon on black coffee with stevia drops; its a rich, creamy white mocha with TONS of whipped cream.  These past few days have been difficult for me to keep to my diet. Last time I did this diet I started to like salad without dressing. This time around my taste buds are like "spit this bitter crap out!" I have been diligent in keeping my eyes on the prize. I did have one "off" day so far, but after 10 days I am down 5 pounds (5 of those days were stalling, grrrr @ plateaus).

My prize is strength, flexibility, a body temple I can curl up in at night and not feel my stomach strangling my organs if I decide to lay on my back. When I picked up a 25 pound of sugar the other day (to make cotton candy for my mother's business,NOT TO EAT), I realized I was carrying this much around me all the time. I remember being 145 and feeling soooo light and strong and I had energy for days! Now, I am not going to live in LaLa Land in my head. I know I was 5 years younger then and without children.

 However I know that strength is inside me, always holding these 25 pounds. My heels have finally begun to break their promise  to be true. They crack, hurt, as I walk on my floating floor above a cement slab. (Someone said get a heel stick which I am totally going to do!) I am routinely picking up and carrying very heavy children to get them to stop what they are doing, redirect their waste orifices or put them to sleep. The stress of it all lends me to head toward the cupboard or fridge aiming for a snack, some sugary thing to help numb my hunger for strength.

 Do I have to choose? I know I LOVE food and I am always sabotaging myself because I LOVE to cook. I am always the person who chooses something in the middle. It can't be black or white! But right now that is where I am at. I am in a black or white zone, hovering around the middle of the road, feeling comfortable but not feeling successful. I will always feel like I didn't make it if I don't keep trying. I will keep logging in and I won't give up.

This journey isn't a hill that goes up and curves back down in the middle. I really like those kind of hills! No, it goes up sharper after the midway point. It is demanding, treacherous, but rewarding. I thought when I started this diet that I had all the strength I needed to finish, but now I realize I only had the strength to start. It will take more and more of that to keep going for the results I desire. For now I choose strength. When I know I am strong enough to only have one slice of pie or get a small nonfat latte I will be back to those comfort foods.
One promise I already made to myself: candy is for kids, not adults. That was one of my big triggers and I am glad I can finally say I will no longer be eating candy and I don't need to. I hope others out there find the strength they need to do this! We can find comfort in our strength as richly and rewarding as that sugary snack or starchy bowl of pasta.